Friday, May 22, 2009

Why do we like people? I just finished watching this movie called Neo Ned. About this white guy named Ned who in a quest for a family becomes a Neo-Nazi skinhead (which fuels him to a life of trouble which he does in an attempt to mirror a father who spent more time in jail than in playground with his son) and ends up in a mental institution where he meets a self admitted damaged black woman who believes she is Adolf Hitler plagued with postpartum depression and manic depressive syndrome (played by Gabrielle Union). Needless to say, they fall in love. And watching this movie, I kind of knew it was going to happen. I mean it's Gabrielle Union. It was just a matter of what moment was going to make them fall in love and then why. What about these two people attracted the other? And I watched it. Rewound the beginning section until the part where they fall in love. and I don't know. Folks I tell you I studied this. Earlier today I watched another movie... The Cutting Edge 3. A mexican amateur hockey player is found by a talented, nearly Gold medal winning male figure skater in need of a partner. They were not supposed to fall in love, they were to keep it business. Yet they do. And I don't know when. This movie to was rewound, studied and dissected. And folks, I still don't know. 

Sidenote: for those judging my movie tastes, keep it to yourself. I enjoy my movies. And on days I'm curled up, straight to TV movies or movies where Gabrielle Union stars as Adolf Hitler, hey I'm all about it. 

How do people fall for each other? I wonder. And why? Physically I know attraction is based on chemical reactions with the sense of smell. The sense of smell is a powerful thing, people often neglect it. Pheromones are intense and can initially tie a person to a memory. That's why when people say hmmph I don't know why I like them just wait until they smell a familiar scent and smile. But that was a digression, sorry. Back to my rant. So you know how I'm always one for my boy stories. So this boy, I feel like he needs a name but because I'm blogging I'm going to keep him relatable. Everyone knows a boy, they might not know a Jake or a Luis or a Damon. But they most certainly know a boy. Okay so back. This boy who I'm entangled with drives me insane. Kind of like he doesn't know what he's doing with me but likes me but won't admit it and would rather drive me crazy then drive me happy. But I stick with him. I'm a sucker for loyalty. But anyhoo, I proceeded to tell my friend about him. And my friend, asks me "if he drives you crazy much then why do you hang around? You're smarter than that and could easily walk away so why don't you?" And then it hit me, I cannot come up with one plausible cause as to why I like this dude. No words. No explanations. I'm not even sure that I like him. But something keeps me where I am, gravitating towards him. And that unknown reason is more than enough. But when did it happen? Like when did I decide to keep coming back or that I even minorly enjoyed his company. I think it happened when he decided he enjoyed mine. See I'm a sucker for a few things: romance and reciprocity among them. I like things to be mutual. And once they are, I feel safe. Safe enough to even kind of sort of potentially maybe one day decide that I could actually on a good day like him. But when did it happen? What moment did we find ourselves in that I was like whoa, I fancy this cat. No freaking clue. 

And I watched all these movies, trying to figure it out. Seriously. The first moment where two people look at each other and you know they don't want to look anywhere else again. Maybe if I can see where it happens I can recreate it. But would I really want to recreate magic? Hmmph. I don't know. 

I would have punched that little kid. Call me a bitch if you want. But I've learned one thing: people who fuck with destiny should get punched in the face.

Serendipity: such a nice sounding word for what it means - a fortunate accident.

maybe that's all this is: fortune and accidental. 

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