Sunday, August 2, 2009

rainy days

"can't you see that it's just raining?
there ain't no need to go outside"

rainy days always put me in the cuddling mood. yet i have no one to cuddle with except my body pillow which nowadays has become my boyfriend. some hot chocolate, a good movie or book sound so good right now so i think im going to indulge in it.

i've started the 30 day poem challenge which i recommend all poets do. one poem a day everyday for 30 days. i'll post up the ones i feel are post worthy. sometimes some poems just need to come out, but they're not meant to be shared. but the ones that are, i'll make sure to write them up. this is the third time i've done this challenge this year. let me tell you, it never gets easier but it does get more rewarding. its also just good practice.

i remember having several relationship conversations with my friends. they would often tell me how they weren't ready for a relationship. and i never understood what that meant. i mean, if you find someone you like and they like you back then a relationship is the next step, duh. but now i've realized i don't think i'm ready for a relationship. mind you, i'm not a big fan of being single. i enjoy the freedom but not the whole temporary mini relationships with several people. u get close enough to people to decide if either of u want to invest the time, then if one person doesn't the other then has to figure out what to do with the developing feelings. it's just a lot of awkward. but i like relationships, at least the idea of them. and i used to be good at relationships when i was younger, go figure. now that i'm older and wiser, i'm horrible at them. but when it's raining, i wish i had someone to cuddle with. some couch snuggling, a good movie, some hot cocoa... oh it'd be so nice. but when it's not raining, ehh. i can do without. though it'd still be nice . i'm a big mess of contradictions.

i'd make him banana pancakes,

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